What is self-love?

Self-love can easily be defined as the love that you give and have for yourself.  However, in today’s society self-love has little or no look in, in most people’s lives.

Self-love is the hardest type of love to get to grips with, although when you do, the rewards of having a healthy love for yourself proves to be priceless.  You see to love yourself, you first have to like yourself, and most of us cannot truly say we like ourselves, let alone love.

Most of us are looking for and believing that if we can just get, him or her to love us, we will then find love for ourselves.  The truth is, it is only when we truly learn to love ourselves completely that we can give love fully and honesty to someone else, attracting to us more of the love we have been searching for.

In today’s society we are constantly taught and reminded to look outside of ourselves for what we want.  The infamous ‘they’, say when you find your husband or wife you will live the fairy tale you have been longing for.  However, what ‘they’ forget to tell us, is that the love that comes from within is genuine love, unlike the love from another person which in some cases can comes with condition attached, making it at times unpredictable and unreliable which is dependent on the type of person you have engage with.

When you start working on yourself to awaken and discover self-love, there is a realisation that comes to you, that you are important and have a relevant part to play in this world.  This in turn increase the love for yourself and grows the love within you, which also helps to increase your self-esteem and confidence.

Self-love has a number of elements that equal love for self.  These elements help to build you up, increasing your self-esteem and your confidence.  The elements that make up self-love are acceptance, care, communication, patience, respect, trust and truth.  Each of these elements work together to help you learn to love yourself just as you are.  Take acceptance, most people have a hard time accepting where they are in their lives currently.  However, this can all change and send them in the direction of self-love, just by accepting the part they played in their own lives to bring them to that point.  You see acceptance of yourself and your actions or non-action helps with changes you want to bring about creating more love for yourself and the life you are creating.

What about care?  You ask, how is this part of self-love?  Well you see it’s simple, when you start caring for yourself, you care about the decisions you make, as well as how you make your decisions.  You care how you treat yourself, as this is how you want others to treat you, basically, you start leading by example and as you now care for yourself, you accept how you are creating your world.

Both acceptance and caring starts with you looking and listening to yourself to see how you communicate with yourself.  Yes, it sounds a bit silly, communication with yourselves, but the truth is we say a lot of things to ourselves on a daily basis and some of the things we say to ourselves are not so nice, however once you start listening to yourself as a result of practicing self-care and acceptance, you are taking steps to be responsible for your life leading you to say nicer things to and about yourself hence expecting the same from others.

With this process we then have to add the ingredients of patience and respect for ourselves in order that we can take the time required to develop that love for ourselves.  Then there is trust and truth.  We have to trust ourselves and our abilities which develops with us being honest with ourselves, telling the truth to ourselves about ourselves and accepting the truth in order to make the changes we want in our lives, with all of this contributing to our growing love for ourselves and developing our authentic love for others.

If you need help developing love for yourself, let’s talk!

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Helping you to turn your challenges into your triumphs!