In my last blog, “Are you, your own worst enemy?”, fear was the third reason I stated that made you your own worst enemy. Why? because of the story you tell yourselves about what happened in the past which keeps us fearful of taking action currently. They say that we teach or write about the things we ourselves need to learn. So, let me tell you about the fear that was holding me back unnecessarily and how it only continued because of the story I was holding onto.
I have been driving for a little over 23 years and in my 23 years of driving, I have not and would not attempt to drive on the motorway, once it started to get dark, however, I’m quite happy to manoeuvre around it in the daylight hours. So for years, 23 to be precise, I held onto the belief that I could not drive on the motorway at night. My reason, my eyesight isn’t good enough. You see, I wear glasses!
Sound silly doesn’t it. Well it gets worse, I made that story up because I was afraid of driving on the motorway at night. Because of my fear, I imagined all sorts of things, to keep my story alive. I would imagine crashing because I couldn’t see properly and that I would not be able to keep my lane. My imagination ran wild with all sorts of silly stories so that I wouldn’t have to face my fear and drive on the motorway at night. My fear was so bad, on occasions when I went out with my partner and I was driving and it began to get dark, I would panic and ask my partner to take over. Basically I was always able to get out of driving on the motorway when it started to get dark, until this weekend.
It amazing how fear becomes less and less important when it stands between you and something you really want, and I really wanted to attend the training which was being held in another city 125 miles away from my home, and as far as I was concerned, nothing was stopping me from going, except the thought that I would have to drive back when it was getting dark around 5.30pm.
When I started contemplating attending the training, I realised that I had lost out on a number of other training dates because of my fear of driving on the motorway when it got dark. I wanted to attend this training so much, I decided that nothing was going to limit me not even the thought of driving back on the motorway when it was dark. So off I went to the training, I drove there and back, not once but twice – Saturday and Sunday without a mishap, except that it was dark and rained all the way home on the Saturday.
Imagine a fear that has held me back most of my driving years, gone in a weekend!
Fear is connected to limiting beliefs and these are connected to our inner state of mind. Has fear been holding you back, unnecessarily?
If so use the following questions to help do a little self analysis:
- What are you thinking and believing about yourself or circumstances that is holding you in fear?.
- What are you visualising about your situation that is keeping you in fear?
- What have you been doing to approach or move through your fears?
My realisation was that I had been telling myself a story for years that was not factual and citing my eyesight as the reason or excuse for not doing it. I visualised having accidents, which only held me in more fear and I did nothing to approach or move through the fear as I was able to avoid it all together because I could get my partner to do the driving.
The long and short of this story was that I feared that I could not handle driving on the motorway at night and this was what held me in fear unnecessarily. I created more fear due to my inability to confront my fears, and it was only when I plucked up the courage that the fear disappeared altogether, like it never existed in the first place.
Can you now see how FEAR really does mean:
False Evidence Appearing Real – Can you see how you could be reacting to fear before it happens because you are making assumption of what might happen if you take that step?
Finding Excuses And Reasons – Can you see where you might be finding excuses not to do, not to attend, not to lose weight, not to find a job, or drive on the motorway?
We include our expectation and we make assumptions which all equals FEAR, unnecessary FEAR.
I hope I have given you food for thought and added a little value to your day!
Please leave some feedback, your thoughts and comments are welcomed.
If you would like help to turning your fears around, book your 30-minute Complimentary “Clarity Call” to discover what you need to start turning your challenges around – call +44 7415 160086 or fill in this form
Some Boddie Life Coaching is based in Tipton and works with individuals in and around Birmingham and the United Kingdom